There’s a product on the market that you probably haven’t heard of. Unless you’re a pregnant or nursing woman, are very good friends with pregnant or nursing woman, or have the unfortunate circumstance of having a cubicle next to a loudmouthed pregnant or nursing woman, you would have no reason whatsoever to be familiar with breast pads.
Breast pads are not used to pad the bra of an A-cup gal. They are used to absorb fluid leaking from the nipples. I know, EW GROSS. Why would fluid do that? Why would nipples do that? Well, lest we all forget, the female breast is actually not merely ornamental or fun to play with. It is for feeding the infants so that propagation of the species may continue. Unfortunately, the nipples are not vacuum sealed, so they leak. Sometimes they begin leaking before the baby is even born! Hence the need to buy breast pads.
Forgive me for oversharing, but these pads are bugging me. I had a few left over from nursing the toddler, so when I purchased more, I had forgotten how expensive these absorbent circles could be. Instead of getting the most expensive brand, I opted for everyone’s pal, Johnson & Johnson. Well, they’re okay, except for one major design flaw: they’re not just circles with some adhesive. They’re circles with a nipple reservoir tip that shows through your shirt. Believe me, if you’re leaking so much fluid that you need more room in a breast pad, see a doctor. Now. If not, then why in the hell would I want it to appear that my nips are showing 24/7? No one wants to see a surly pregnant woman’s nipples. That’s gross. And as a surly pregnant woman, I don’t want anyone looking at my nipples, fake though they may be. I am not a sexual being right now. I am growing a human being and should be spared any gazing that is not directed at my face or increasingly large abdominal area.
I’m disappointed in you, Johnson & Johnson. Your baby lotion set the bar, but you’re cheapening the legacy with these breast pad nipple abominations. I must ask that you focus on the children, because what you’re doing to the ladies is embarrassing. Leave the nipples out of it.
I’m not a parent but I remember seeing somewhere that it works to buy small sanitary towels and cut them into pieces. Perhaps you could try that if they’re cheaper?