Perez is not ready to pitch in the playoffs. Please keep him seated in the bullpen for the rest of the games…unless the point is to get runners on base and hand out homeruns as door prizes.
Sincerely,
A Non-Fan Who Only Watches Sports During the Playoffs, Has No Experience Playing Sports, But Is Generally Opinionated
We looked at another new selection yesterday before returning to the scene of house 22. House 23 seems to be going into foreclosure and needs a lot of cosmetic work. As in all new carpet, all new paint, and some finish work in the converted garage. By finish work, I mean they’re calling it a den, but it needs about 60% more work to complete the so-called renovation. Unfortunately, we were unable to walk out onto the deck or into the fenced portion of the yard because of the three massive rottweilers patrolling those areas. The hubby was walking through the unfenced yard with the baby, and once I saw the drooling beasts trying to push their heads through the fence, I insisted we all get back in the car. If you’ve seen the first Harry Potter film, think Fluffy.
Underwhelmed, we proceed to house 22. Despite the fact that the seller agreed to vacate the premises so we could tour it unencumbered, the sonofabitch was there. He seems on the verge of some sort of breakdown, and I can’t tell if he’s a weeper or a rager. Did I mention he’s a retired postal employee? Upon seeing him, the hubby and I are so put off that we almost leave. The seller holes himself and his three mongrels (everyone has dogs but us, apparently) into the office so we can look at the house without having to make idle chitchat with this guy.
We like the house. The hubby is satisfied the living room is big enough. We can both live with the stairs. We are going to make an offer. First, we need the actual square footage (we have two different totals at this point), then we need to figure out what our initial offer will be and what our top end is. Most importantly, we are willing to walk away. Now that this might be happening, I’m half scared we’ll get it.
Developing…
With the good must come the bad. Please do yourself a favor and pass these books up:
Currently, I am reading Ann Patchett’s singular work of non-fiction, Truth and Beauty. She is an amazing writer who coincidentally lives in Nashville. Not so coincidentally, she was one of my instructors in college. Were it not for that fateful scheduling, I might never have heard of her. However, her first novel, The Patron Saint of Liars, was published the very semester I took my first (and last) creative writing class. The book is fantastic, which is more than I can say for my experience in her course, as her criticism was sharp and somewhat condescending.
I begrudgingly forgive her all that because her writing is so goddamned good. In addition to the Patron Saint of Liars, go ahead and read everything else she’s published. You won’t be disappointed.
